Hey, what's up?
When I was a kid, I always dreamed of doing something great in the world. I’m very sure I’m not the only kid that will ever have this dream. However, this dream has never left me; like a girlfriend whom I love, it's grown as I've grown. Now well into adulthood it still wakes me up every morning.
My ex-girlfriend used to ask me “why do you always compare yourself to great people in history?”. My response “why not?”; I thought everybody did that. The realization was chilling, I am in this pursuit of mine by myself. Friends thought me crazy, rational teenagers don’t abandon everything to pursue a “calling”.
This pursuit has been a lonely one. Sometimes I wonder about its worthiness. It’s required me sacrificing a lot. The pre-dreamer me would have thought it absolutely insane and inane. He would’ve never entertained the thought for a fraction of a millisecond. Hence, a conflict ensued.
Logic and emotion at odds created a rift within me. It began an internal civil war that lasted years. I’ve lost a lot but I’ve gained a lot as well. In the process of navigating this identity crisis, I’ve been able to reconcile these opposing forces, the dreamer and the pragmatist. Carefully curating my internal dialogue has been a huge part of this reconciliation process.
This week’s song My Grand Opus is a celebratory ode to this hard-won reconciliation. Getting my ego to trust the process has had a profound impact on my vision of self. This song is indicative of the affirmative self-talk that has fostered a healthier relationship between Me, myself, and my dreams.