Hey, what's up?
I hope you had a good week.
If you've ever had a first love, you know how it feels like when it ends. Then you overcome that, however long it takes only to enter another one. This is the usual relationship cycle. Not wanting to be a hamster on a wheel, I decided to really understand relationships. I never thought that would entail developing a relationship with myself.
I always thought of intimate relationships as fifty-fifty partnerships until I started really asking myself the hard questions. Who am I, why do I need it, how am I to be in this relationship? Upon reflection, I noticed that my last relationship had completely absorbed my personal identity. All my personal interests and goals had been put aside for the sake of the relationship. In losing myself, my girlfriend had lost the man she fell in love with.
This week's song "Abigail" is about a man noticing the erosion of his identity while in a relationship. Instead of letting it drag on until it became completely lifeless, he decides to end it. Overcome with angst, anger, frustration, and fear, he breaks the news to his girlfriend. His only source of comfort, the knowledge that his decision was made to preserve the single most important relationship he'll ever have: the one with himself.